Do you feel like people sometimes run away from you or avoid you? Do you notice that people talk to you for a few minutes and make a hasty excuse to get away? Have you ever found yourself along in a room at a party or noticed that people tend to slowly leave the room that you are in? Do people seem to avoid eye contact with you and keep physical contact to a minimum? Are you the loneliest person that you know? If so, you may be an energy vampire.
An energy vampire is someone who unconsciously siphons positive energy away from others. An energy vamp will leave you feeling more negative than you were before the interaction. We all know someone who makes our stomach do a little dreadful flip when we see them walking our way. These people make us feel tired and drained. Being in the presence of an energy vamp gives you an overwhelming sense that you need to get away.
Having PTSD can turn you into that kind of a person if you are not aware of how your negativity affects others. Since PTSD is a very serious disorder, that includes depression and anxiety, the symptoms can be overwhelming. People who suffer from PTSD really do need help and a strong support system. The problem occurs when you constantly give off negative and needy vibes that affect how the people around you perceive and react to you.
There are several factors that contribute to being the type of person that suctions energy from others. One of them is a lack of having a strong personality. Since PTSD absolutely affects your sense of self, your self esteem, and your personality, it is very important to evaluate your own individuality. Do some soul searching and ask yourself what your personal likes and dislikes are. What is your personal moral code? When your friends are talking or when you are watching a news story, ask yourself what YOU think about the topic. Don't adopt the commentary of others as your own thoughts. Be proactive and formulate your own opinions and judgment. Strengthen your own personality as opposed to mirroring others. If you find that you act one way in the presence of one person and a different way around others, you need to evaluate that and decipher who YOU are.
It is very common for someone who has PTSD to struggle with this concept because at times, we really don't know who we are anymore. There is so much mental chaos going on that we lose ourselves. This is why so many people who have PTSD are diagnosed with personality disorders and put on all types of medication concoctions that compound the problem. Healing from PTSD means that we figure out who we are now. Who we were before is gone and we are definitely not the same person, but we still have our own personalities that have to be rediscovered and reinvented. This is the first and most difficult step if you want to stop suctioning other's energy.
Another way to begin to stop suctioning the energy of others is to recognize and respect personal boundaries. Just as you respect physical boundaries, there should always be a barrier between your energy and the energy of someone else. This means that when you begin to feel negative or needy in the presence of another, you stop and redirect yourself to a more positive frame of mind. PTSD is a very selfish disease in that we rarely take the time to focus on others much less how we are affecting them. Refocus yourself on anything that you can think of other than yourself, your needs, and your negative feelings. Change the conversation to a lighthearted topic or simply ask a question about the person that you are speaking with. Make it a goal to catch your negative energy before it leaks out to others and project a more confident and positive energy.
An easy way to cut your energy vamp tendencies off at the pass is to focus on staying in the present during every interaction. This can feel like "fake it till you make it" for awhile, but you will quickly notice a shift in the way that others interact with you, if you practice this. It can be very difficult to stay in the present when you have PTSD, but you can do it with practice. When we mentally drift away, it looks to others like we are not listening or don't care about what they are saying. This causes a lull in the conversation that is uncomfortable and makes the other person feel as though they must keep up the conversation alone or remove themselves. Most people will excuse themselves at this point, leaving you to yourself.
Finally, the absolute easiest way to put an end to zapping the mental and emotional strength out of those around you is to focus on giving your positive energy to others. There is a time to give and there is a time to take. When you are interacting socially with others, it is a time to give. Show interest in others by asking questions about themselves. Comment positively on the things that they are talking about. Be mindful of how much you use the words "I" and "me" and transform that into more "you" and "your". People love to talk about themselves and the things that they are interested in. When you begin to practice this, you may be able to keep this up for just a few minutes. The more you do it, the more natural it will become.
If you find that people have a tendency to excuse themselves in your presence, you may be projecting an aura that feels like you are stealing their positive energy and draining them. Having PTSD does not mean that you become a buzz kill to everyone around you. It does not mean that you have to feel like a social leper. PTSD is difficult to overcome, but you can change your energy in the presence of others with some realization, focus, and practice.
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