All Jacked Up At The Monster Jam

It's springtime and that means Monster Jam in my town. For those of you who haven't had the privilege,  it's a huge demolition derby that involves wrecking great, big monster trucks with names like Medusa and Grave Digger. It's loud and it smells like dirt and gas. A group of us decided to go last year.

Of course these things are always held in an arena, so there are a couple of thousand screaming fans in the stadium and it's just packed full of people. We found our seats. I got stuck on the end. That's a really bad place for someone who has PTSD to be. I figured that it would be ok, since I've gone for a year or so without having any major symptoms or problems.

WRONG!

The guy who sells the beer came by and stood over me handing down beers and taking money for what seemed like an eternity. I sat there feeling my heart beat for what felt like an hour. There I was, boxed in my this great big guy and his cooler of beer. The crowd is yelling and screaming The engines are roaring and there are monster truck parts flying all over the track. And this guy is hovering over me.  I felt totally closed in ( in the middle of a stadium) and it freaked me out.

Then, he moved one step down and stayed there for another eternity. Boxed in and now blocked from the exit. Never a good combination for someone who has been through what I have been through. The minute the beer guy moved, I bolted down the stairs and found myself downstairs in the open air.

Of course my friends were mad and didn't understand. As it turned out, they weren't the friends I thought they were because no one would speak to me for a few days. This is the sadness of PTSD. You feel so alone and it never seems to end. Here I had the first trigger I've had in over a year and the people around me made it worse by treating me like some kind of freak.

So, the point is: It happened and it will probably happen again.  I think the only thing someone like me can do about having flashbacks and triggers is to respond to them rather than react to them.

 My response was to get out of the place where I felt threatened. My reaction could have been to dwell on the whole thing and feel really bad about it.  I could have beat myself up for days and told myself so may horrible things. Instead, I decided that it was one night and one event and now that it's over, maybe I'll catch the show next year.

Could George Zimmerman have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

The George Zimmerman trial in Florida has been a hot bed of contention for several weeks. It is a fascinating case in which the defense contends that Zimmerman acted in self-defense; believing that his life was in danger. After you break down all of the "he- said, she-said" and endless hours of legal jargon and procedures, the fact remains that one person sustained a broken nose and lacerations to the skull. The other sustained a fatal shot to the heart. Who is innocent and who is guilty is indeed a matter for the jury to decide.

The circumstances that surround this case provide a classic example of how someone may acquire Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A fight in which someone believes that he or she will not survive can lead to post traumatic stress.  A moment in which someone experiences a surge of adrenaline combined with the threat of death is a powerful psychological shocker. Obviously, Zimmerman believed that his life was in danger. He believed that he was going to be either severely harmed or was in danger of losing his life. He chose to defend himself by ending the life of another person. These types of moments are horrific and psychologically shocking. His actions meant that he survived the event, but was described as "stunned" for some time after. 

After such an event, it is common to experience PTSD symptoms such as hyper-vigilance, triggers, nightmares, fragmented memories, fatigue, depression, anxiety, and dissociation. These symptoms can persist for days, months, or years. PTSD symptoms can vary in severity and seem to cycle between one or two symptoms for some time after a terrifying incident.  It would be a bit uncommon if Zimmerman has not experienced at least some of these symptoms.  He even seems a bit dazed and mentally removed during the trial proceedings.

Could George Zimmerman have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Yes. It is quite possible that he is experiencing a full range of symptoms. It is likely that he relives this trauma on a daily basis and feels that same surge of fear, powerlessness, and shock regularly. PTSD keeps its sufferers in that state of mind for a long time. Whether the posttraumatic symptoms morph into the disorder remains to be seen. If Zimmerman cannot correctly process the event and work towards categorizing those adrenaline charged feelings into a proper perspective, he will likely need treatment for PTSD. 

PTSD Flashbacks and Triggers

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, is a condition in which someone has been thorough a trauma that was so severe that they believed that they would not survive. This syndrome happens in first responders, military personnel, victims of rape and in those who have experienced trauma.  The classic signs of PTSD are clearly defined, although all sufferers report a variety of symptoms that are specific to their experience as well.

It is common for people who have PTSD to feel as thought they are  re-experiencing their trauma in several ways. Flashbacks can put the person right back into the most terrifying moments of their lives. They may react in fear or with anger. Some people can become very aggressive or withdraw from others for awhile( fight or flight). Flashbacks are serious when they trigger an aggressive response because the experience seems so real and, quite frankly,  the surge of adrenaline can really make you a little crazy in the moment. It takes a lot to calm down and the feeling of sheer fear stays with you for a long time.

Triggers are another symptom that can through a PTSD sufferer into panic mode. A trigger can be anything at any time. It can be something that you see or hear. A smell can bring on a trigger. Some women can smell a certain soap or cologne that brings back memories of their attacker or experience. Triggers can lead to specific or non-specific memories. Specific memories are hard to deal with, but I think that the non- specific memories are more difficult. There is nothing more nerve wracking that half-way remembering something and not being able to fully recall that memory. It's like a mosquito that keeps buzzing around your head. It won't go away and you can't catch it. This type of memory can stay on your mind for days.

Fortunately, signs like flashbacks and triggers are a sign of healing. They are signs that your brain is attempting to put the experience into proper perspective. The brain is designed to move short term memories into long term storage. A lot of people overlook the physical aspects of PTSD, which is that the brain has experienced something that it can not process. This is why people can't remember aspects of their trauma. It is why so much gets repressed and sufferers feel stuck and unable to move on. This makes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder both Psychological and Neurological disorders.

When you have a flashback or something triggers you, the first step is to check your reaction. Do you lash out or withdraw? These are physical reactions such as throwing something or running away from the physical space. Many times an introverted person will flee while an extrovert will push back, but this is not always the case. Identify what your pattern is, so that you can stop yourself from reacting. I know this is a pretty tall order in the moment, because a reaction is just that- an action in response to stress.

Once you identify your natural response, you can take steps to move towards dealing with triggers and flashbacks in a more productive way. Most extroverts who lash out will need to practice constructive reflection whereas introverts will need to find physical outlets that empower them. Doing the reverse of what comes natural to you will help you to deal with the event more effectively.
  

My Boyfriend Has PTSD and is Cold and Distant

A very common complaint among those who love someone who has PTSD is that they can turn from warm and loving to cold and distant very quickly. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard someone say, “My boyfriend has PTSD and has pushed me away.”  How do you deal with loving someone who seemingly wants nothing to do with you a lot of the time? How do you keep yourself sane?

Many PTSD relationships do not survive for a variety of reasons. Communication is always essential in any type of relationship, but when one partner has post traumatic stress there is additional pressure on the relationship. One party may not be willing or able to communicate his or her needs when symptoms arise. They naturally withdraw and can become verbally abusive and distant.  It is not uncommon for someone who is suffering through PTSD symptoms to behave irrationally and leave for a few days. It is also normal to completely shut out family, relationships, and the people who are trying to help them.

Cold and distant is a normal response for someone who has post traumatic stress. Often, this disorder robs the sufferer of all emotion, except for anger, sadness, and numbness. There is very little that you can do to help your loved one when this symptom arises. To not respect their wishes to be alone and isolated will result in conflict, which just makes everything worse. Of course you don’t just want to leave the person that you love alone, especially when they are suffering. That seems like the opposite of love. Sadly, at times, you don’t have a choice. Someone who is withdrawing will only run faster and harder away from you if you pursue them.

So, what do you do when this symptom arises? You go and do things that YOU want to do. You take a break. If this is not your first go around, you know that the request or demand to be alone comes frequently from those who have PTSD and can vary in duration. Sometimes they distance themselves for an afternoon and sometimes it can be days before you hear from your loved one. With PTSD, there is no rhyme or reason, but there are patterns.

You have to take care of yourself first. If you are being pushed away, go. Make a list of all of the things that you enjoy doing and when this symptom arises, go and do the things on your list. Set aside a little cash for this time, so that you can go and enjoy yourself. Plan for your time alone and do the things that you like to do.  This symptom will arise. It’s inevitable. It’s just a part of the disorder.

If you are being pushed away, take a little time for yourself. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love and care for that person nor does it mean that they no longer love and care for you. Don’t fall into the trap of guilt. There is nothing that you can do to help someone who wants space and distance. So, go help yourself. When you take care of yourself first, it shifts your perspective. It gives you some mental clarity and allows you to come back more refreshed and able to deal with the pressure of loving someone who has PTSD.

Are you in an abusive relationship with someone who has PTSD?

Are you in an abusive relationship with someone who has PTSD?

Many women are suffering through an abusive relationship with someone who has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. As many are diagnosed with this disorder, those who live with them and love them find that they are the brunt of anger and frustration. Spouses and children often become targets of rage and abuse.

PTSD is a condition in which the sufferer has great difficulty controlling negative emotions like fear and rage. There are a whole host of symptoms that are associated with PTSD, but uncontrollable rage is one of the most damaging and dangerous. At times, one who has this disorder does not possess the coping skills necessary to control their anger and others often get hurt.

If you are in an abusive relationship with someone who has PTSD, you have to protect yourself. Simply put, you must remove yourself from the person, if possible. Many women choose to live in the same household with someone who is either mentally and/ or physically abusive. The risk of you getting hurt is very high and most single women who are able to walk away, do so. Relationships are built on trust. If you can’t trust that you are safe and are going to be treated well, the relationship will eventually end anyways. Do not allow yourself to be abused.  

If you are living with someone who has PTSD, love someone who has PTSD, or are struggling with PTSD, click here for help.

Sadly, spouses and children of PTSD sufferers end up suffering as well.  If you do not feel that you want to leave, you have to set some boundaries. You must point out the behavior and clearly spell out the consequences for certain behaviors. Obviously, timing is everything with this technique, but this discussion is valuable because it outlines the limitations of what you will and will not accept. If your significant other chooses to ignore your boundaries, you must follow through with your consequences. For example, if you tell him that you will leave, you must be prepared to leave.

Some women choose not to distance themselves, instead believing that things eventually will change for the better. While that can be true, you should know that you are in for a bumpy ride. Coping with a spouse’s PTSD means that you must develop the flexibility to deal with frequent mood changes, often irrational behavior, and uncontrollable rage.  It means that you develop a special set of coping skills of your own. It also means that you do what you have to do to protect yourself both physically and emotionally.

Having PTSD is not an excuse or a reason to abuse others. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship with someone who has PTSD, consider your options carefully. Educate yourself about this condition and make a plan of how you will deal with the constant changes. Above all, realize that your safety and well being are most important.   

My Husband Has PTSD And Is Not The Same

The number one complaint or comment made by military spouses these days is," My husband/ boyfriend is not the same man that left to go to war." The sad fact is that these spouses couldn't be more right. Many of our loved ones are not the same and will never be the same again. Post traumatic stress will take the strongest and most brave soldier and drag him or her into a whirlwind of symptoms that are difficult to understand and to conquer. These symptoms are often so severe that they will leave you wondering whom this person is, what in the world is wrong, and what can you possibly do to help?

The most important thing that you can do for yourself and to help your spouse, who may have post traumatic stress, is to educate yourself. You need to know what the symptoms are – not a checklist of words that sound bad but that you can’t relate to. You have to realize for yourself how this condition relates to your husband. You need to realize the possible risks of this disorder, and what to do about it.

It is true that your loved one is not the same and will never be the same person. He is forever changed. He may be in the middle of the biggest mental minefield imaginable. He may not even know what is happening to him. He may not be able to verbalize what is going on in his mind and in his body. He might not be able to ask for help.

Your loved one may be violent, angry, aggressive, isolating, drinking, doing drugs, threatening or seriously considering suicide. He could be going through flashbacks, nightmares, and not be able to sleep. Most PTSD suffers quickly find themselves frazzled and worn down to the point of giving up. These are symptoms that he is not going to verbalize to you, unless the problem is so blatantly obvious that he has no choice.

Post traumatic stress is a very serious disorder. Suicide rates of troops who are coming back from the sandboxes of Iraq and Afghanistan are off the chart. Our soldiers are coming back and killing themselves record numbers. So if your loved one has recently returned from a war zone, and your observation is that he is just not the same, look for signs and symptoms that may indicate post traumatic stress.

The number one thing that you can do to help someone who has PTSD, is to know what is happening with them and to be proactive. PTSD is a debilitating disorder, and those who have it often can’t even verbalize their experience at the time.

It is absolutely correct your husband is not the same and he's never going to be the same again, but there is hope for those who have PTSD. As a spouse, as someone who cares, first step is to get the concrete facts of what PTSD is, what the symptoms are, and how to deal with them. Secondly, you must formulate a plan of how you will react when the symptoms arise. Post traumatic stress does get better with time. People do recover and go on to live very happy, productive lives. There absolutely is hope, but recovery takes a lot of support and time.

If you're feeling that your loved one is “just not the same”, you are not alone. There are thousands of military wives that feel the exact same way that you feel. There is light at the end of the tunnel- you just have to know what you’re dealing with, and learn how to heal from it.

Game Boy, Anyone?

Recently, there have been a rash of news articles touting the benefits of playing Tetris for those who have PTSD. This study, which is about a year old, is based on showing a group of people movies with violent and disturbing scenes in them. The group was then divided into three sub groups. One group was sent home. One group was sent off to play Trivial Pursuit, and one group was sent off to play Tetris. Guess what? The Tetris group experienced fewer flashbacks.

I love theory!  Theoretically, watching a movie could produce flashbacks? Looking at violence in the comfort of a lab or an office can simulate the horrors that lead to PTSD?
Theoretically, watching disturbing images can TRAUMATIZE someone to the point of post traumatic stress?

No disrespect to the boys at Oxford U, but this is a great example of the many misguided attempts to define what PTSD truly is. You don't get PTSD because you watch a horror flick- you get PTSD because you survive a horror flick.

Now on to the good news. I believe that the science behind this idea is sound. If you look at it logically, those who have PTSD have many memory fragments, misplaced, and repressed memories. Someone who truly has PTSD experiences flashbacks and are triggered by sounds smells, sensations, and so on BECAUSE our memories are so fragmented that they can not be properly categorized. That is the biological basis for the disorder, or injury.... or whatever we are calling it today.

Tetris is a game of placing blocks into their proper slots on a board so that they all form a straight line. Isn't it brilliant that researchers found that by using our hand eye coordination to categorize digital blocks, that our brains would follow? I am sure that more research needs to be done on this, but it IS an interesting breakthrough. Aside from being a fun game that is available ( for free) on every smartphone platform there is, Tetris may turn out to be a useful tool that helps many PTSD sufferers greatly.

Have you played your Tetris today?

Do You Have Post Traumatic Stress Or PTSD?

There is a lot of talk in the news these days about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Who gets PTSD? How do they get it? Why do some people have this disorder and some seem to “bounce back” from trauma? Is there a gene that predetermines a person? Could it be hereditary? What is PTSD? What do you do about it? The questions and answers go on and on.

In trying to understand this issue, it is important to distinguish post traumatic stress from the disorder. Everyone who experiences trauma also experiences post traumatic stress symptoms. It is normal to be hyper vigilant, to have nightmares, to relive the event and to experience triggers that bring the trauma back to your mind. This is the brain’s natural way of dealing with trauma. In fact, it is such a natural response that if you don’t have at least one or two post traumatic stress symptoms, it wasn’t trauma.

Post traumatic stress becomes a disorder when the trauma is so severe that the brain can not process the event. Our bodies are so magnificently designed that the only thing that we cannot process is the threat and/or the sight of death coming at us. The natural symptoms that are a product of the brain coping with what has happened become magnified and overwhelming when  no healing is taking place. The brain only knows one way to heal and will repeat these tactics with more and more severity in an attempt to process the trauma and move on.

Post traumatic stress symptoms are our natural Band-Aid. They are there to help you to deal with what has happened to you, so that you can move on with your life. If your arm is blown off a Band-Aid is not going to help you. So someone who has experienced a traumatic event, may have a few nights of nightmares and not being able to sleep but ultimately find that things to go back to normal. The disorder (PTSD) will cause someone to not sleep for weeks and months and years at a time.

Trauma symptoms will keep you vigilant, but gradually you will be able to relax. Having PTSD means that you're always vigilant, night and day. It never turns off. Reliving the trauma and what you have experienced, in most cases, helps you to deal with it effectively so that you can move on with your life. Those who have PTSD relive their trauma 24 hours a day -day in and day out.

 In essence, the DISORDER part of PTSD is like living with a broken record that repeats the same line over and over again. So post traumatic stress symptoms, which are normal and very necessary to the healing process, enable you to get past your experience. PTSD occurs when the trauma is so great, or when the groove in the record is so deep, that mentally there is no way to cross over to the other side or to move on.

If you've experienced a trauma and are having symptoms it is always best to get help if you can. It is very difficult to deal with trauma by yourself. If you're experiencing symptoms that are so severe that they are consuming you, taking over your life, and your sanity; if you feel like you've become someone other then the person that you used to know, you may have PTSD.

What Is A PTSD DIagnosis?

What does a clinician look for in diagnosing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Are there any “telltale signs?” How do you know if someone is faking it?

In addition to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual’s formal criteria, there are certain things that a clinician looks for when making a PTSD diagnosis. Some initial symptoms of PTSD include being re-traumatized repeatedly due to intrusive thoughts and involuntary recollections. This means that the person replays the scene, or scenes over and over in their head whether they want to or not. This can be uncontrollable and it makes the person feel the same feelings of the event. 

  Reliving trauma brings up the same powerless, helpless, and terrified feelings as if the event were occurring in the present. This is such a powerful symptom that it can be overwhelming. Imagine living the worst moments of your life over and over in your head and not being able to turn that off.

  Nightmares and PTSD go hand in hand. Sometimes a good night’s sleep is 2 to 3 hours and then the nightmares kick in. When you’re not sleeping for days and weeks at a time, your body does not have a chance to repair itself and your mind has no time to rejuvenate. People who have PTSD are horribly sleep deprived, which really wears you down quickly. 

  People who have PTSD have a high startle response. This is the jolt of adrenaline that goes through you when you are surprised. The catch .22 is that ANYTHING can startle someone who has PTSD, sending them through the roof at any given moment. 

  Some people experience a high degree of dissociation, or spacing out. It is very hard to stay in the present, and most people involuntarily relive their trauma over and over again when they are dissociating. 

  Triggers, again, an involuntary response, are episodes in which someone is reminded of an aspect of their trauma. Sounds, smells, sights, and thoughts all lead to triggers and bring to the surface a memory that was previously repressed. Triggers can be shocking and can provoke very negative reactions. 

  A good clinician will evaluate each individual on his or her specific experience and how the individual processed the event, or reacted to it. No two people are alike, so how one person deals with trauma is not necessarily how another deals with it. Likewise, not every person who goes through a traumatic event will get Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

  Qualified mental health professionals are finding that it takes time and some in depth discussion with the patient in order to properly diagnose this disorder. The VA currently gives a patient about 25 to 30 minutes with the next scheduled appointment often months apart. This is the least effective way to diagnose this disorder, as it takes a personal look into the event and into the perspective of the patient to make a proper diagnosis. 

  Can you fake having PTSD? Maybe for a little while, but not for long. PTSD has such specific traits and responses that any clinician who has worked with those who have this disorder longer than a few months or so would be able to spot someone who is faking symptoms from a mile away. People who genuinely have PTSD can communicate that to someone who is trained to understand this condition in a way that is genuine and unmistakable. 

Reliving Trauma

Sometimes it seems like we are forever replaying the most traumatic events in our minds. Hardly a day goes by that someone who has PTSD doesn’t think back to the events that permanently transformed their lives forever. At times, it seems as though the trauma happened yesterday because our images are so vivid. Other times, it is as if we are looking a scene in a movie- something terrible that happened to someone else and we are merely voyeurs to this terrible scene. It’s easier to dissociate and detach from the hell that we have been through than it is to face it directly. Like it or not, we relive those moments without much warning.

The memory of these events is always with us and will always haunt us, even if we live to be 100 years of age. Ask any vet who served in Vietnam and they will tell you that time is the only healer for a fragmented memory and a horrific traumatic event. These vets will also tell you that while it never goes away, it does get better. Time and distance are the only things that allow our fragmented memories and emotions to heal. Time and distance and how we process the trauma.

The brain is such a phenomenal mechanism. It is always attempting to shift our memories into long term storage- always attempting to categorize the horror and make sense of it all. It is normal to relive trauma when you have PTSD. Reliving trauma is actually a part of the healing process, although it is painful. It is painful to spontaneously remember forgotten details that can be triggered through sounds, smells, or other means. We experience shock when we recall an aspect of trauma that we had completely blocked out.

We can not prevent this phenomenon from happening, because we have no control over what our memory can do. So, what can we do when we are transported back to a place in which we were helpless, alone, and afraid for our lives? What can we do when we feel he same horror and fear as we did in the most terrifying moment of our lives?

We can act, or we can react. To act, or to be proactive in our healing, means that we go with the memory and allow it to unfold as it will. It means that we take a deep breath, or several deep breaths, and confront the demon that is responsible for all of this mental hell. This can be shocking and scary. To react means that we allow our fear to consume us and we begin to panic or to dissociate from reality. To react means that we allow our adrenaline to take over and we go into fight mode. To act, or to take a proactive stance means that we take control. We take a minute, calm ourselves down, and go through the memory with our mental battle gear on. To react means that we relinquish control to fear and anxiety. We allow the trauma to once again take over and fight against it.

 Ultimately, whichever we choose is up to us. We can choose our plan of action. We can decide that when these events happen, we will take back our control by not allowing the symptoms of PTSD to overwhelm us. It is not as easy to be proactive as it is to react to certain triggers, but it is the way to healing.

PTSD And Planning For The Future

Failure to recognize or plan for the future is a very common Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptom. Why do people who have this disorder have such a hard time acknowledging events that may take place in the future and plan accordingly? Making and carrying out future plans does seem like a logical way to conduct your affairs, but this is a very big problem among those with PTSD.

The answer lies in what PTSD truly is. People acquire this disorder because they have been terrified and rendered helpless in a moment in which they believed that they would die. They have seen death very close to them. This is the diagnostic criteria and defining factor with this disorder. An event in which anyone sees the end of their life coming to an end, an event in which they do not believe that they will survive, robs them of their sense of trust and safety. It takes a certain amount of faith to believe that there will be a tomorrow. A sense of trust and safety are required in order to believe that future plans will actually come to pass. People who suffer from PTSD have lost these concepts and have a markedly foreshortened sense of the future.

Some people who suffer from posttraumatic stress can manage to plan a day or a week in advance, but every one who has this disorder has a threshold of what they can comfortably look forward to. Some people can’t even foresee tomorrow or the next day and this is why we live our lives solely in the present.

If you are in a relationship with someone who has PTSD, you know how frustrating it is to make plans for a week or two in advance and then watch them fall through. Anxiety has much to do with this phenomenon. Depression can contribute to the inability to follow through with pre planned occasions. 

You have likely noticed that we don’t become excited about events until about 5 minutes before they actually occur. Many people who have PTSD do all of their Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve because in our minds, the event has to be hours away in order for us to trust that they will occur. This makes no logical sense to someone who does not have this disorder, but it is extremely normal to someone who has PTSD.

Being in a relationship with someone who has PTSD can be challenging and confusing at times. Sometimes you have to use a lot of critical thinking, common sense, and flexibility. At times, it is hard to know what will be the most helpful and what will make a symptom worse for them. Ultimately, education is the key to dealing with PTSD. Once you know what PTSD really is and what to expect, it is not too difficult to personalize a solid plan that is specific to the person that you love. Belief in a foreshortened future can be overcome, as can many common post traumatic stress symptoms. 

What You Need To Know About Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can ruin your quality of life if you let it. It is an emotional roller coaster that leaves you and those who are close to you mentally drained. This is partially because the symptoms of PTSD are severe, alarming, and can be at odds with one another at times.  To make matters worse, some of these symptoms make no logical sense to someone who does not have PTSD.

If you have PTSD, you know that depression and anxiety are a big part of this disorder. This means that you are up, and then you're down. You can't sit still, and then you can't seem to get out of bed.  Anxiety can include pacing, having racing thoughts, acting compulsively, having panic attacks, and the list goes on. Anxiety can creep up on you when you least expect it. You can be going on about your business and all of a sudden you start to hyperventilate for no particular reason and then it’s off to a full blown panic attack. Severe depression can bring you down so low that you may attempt whatever you believe is necessary to end the pain. Depression can bring you down to a state of hopelessness that's very difficult to overcome. Some people cut or otherwise mutilate themselves. Those who suffer from anxiety, chronic depression, and PTSD are at a very high risk for attempted suicide. It is very common for someone who is experiencing severe depression to cry for long periods of time, to stop eating, to stop communicating with others. At some point, they call this "failure to thrive", which can lead to death. So, the constant push and pull of anxiety and depression in someone who has this disorder alone is enough to seriously complicate relationships with others as well as just mentally torment and exhaust the person who has PTSD.

It's no wonder that many people receive a misdiagnosis of either chronic anxiety or depression. Posttraumatic stress encompasses both of these conditions. Since PTSD involves anxiety and depression in severe states, it is also not uncommon for those who have this disorder to receive a misdiagnosis of personality disorders. This is because of the constant oscillation between the two.

The catch .22 is that the drugs that are commonly prescribed for anxiety don't do much to alleviate depression and vice versa. Also, some of these pharmaceuticals produce depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts as side effects. Obviously this is counterproductive and it can be dangerous for the person who is already suffering.

If a clinician is treating someone exclusively for depression or for anxiety, and fails to make the connection to PTSD, he or she is only treating one component of the disorder. This is a potential nightmare for several reasons. The clinician may believe that the dosage needs to be adjusted if it is not immediately effective and some of these drugs take months to become fully effective. He or she may prescribe one or more medications. It takes time to evaluate whether these drugs are working correctly. Also, it's a process of adjustment. So while the meds are being "adjusted", you're emotionally all over the place. Mentally, you're up for a little while and down for a while. Can you see how this process can be especially dangerous for someone who has PTSD?

Depression and anxiety are two symptoms of PTSD, so it is especially important to work with a clinician who is qualified to treat all three disorders. Anxiety disorders and depression disorders alone are enough to make someone profoundly miserable.

Being in a relationship with someone who has one or the other disorder can be a huge challenge and this is very taxing to the family environment. If you are in a relationship with someone who has told you that they have this disorder, you have to prepare yourself for these and other symptoms to appear. There is a strong connection between PTSD, anxiety, and depression that has to be addressed in a manner that is appropriate for the individual as opposed to a “one size fits all” model. A trained mental health professional and a strong support system are essential in the management of these symptoms when they become too severe for the person to deal with.

If you are dealing with symptoms of PTSD or know someone who is, I urge you to pick up a copy of my book PTSD: WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.  It was written by someone who has this disorder for those who are suffering now and their friends and families. It will give you concrete answers and solutions that you can use to lessen these awful symptoms. 

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder- An Emotional Roller Coaster Ride.

PTSD is an atrocious disorder. You never know when the symptoms are going to creep up on you.  One day, things seem ok and the next day you’re bombarded with memories that send you straight into anxiety and panic attacks. Some days, you’re just going about your business and all of a sudden, you are flooded with intrusive memories or flashbacks. This sets the tone for the rest of the day. You can see something, smell something, or hear something that reminds you of your trauma and you become dizzy and dissociated for a few hours or for a longer period of time. Some people go to bed and stay there for days. It’s just too overwhelming. Some become angry and lash out at everyone around them. Some people cry for hours. Your reaction to this symptom is a personal reaction that reflects your style of coping with the strain of this disorder. 

Some people have a nagging sense that “ something is wrong” or that they have forgotten something. A lot of times, feelings like fear, anxiety, and sadness come over you without a specific reason or trigger. Other times, you can’t feel anything and you can’t decide whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Emotional numbness is a big part of this disorder and this occurs when you are on an emotional overload at times.

Having a full and unexplainable range of emotions to no emotion at all are all a part of having PTSD and this can be very frustrating and hard to deal with. The bottom line is that fighting the emotional roller coaster ride is like trying to stop the ocean with a cotton ball. The trauma that you’ve experienced also traumatized your emotional system, so it may take some time to find balance. You may wonder if you will ever heal from your experience at times. The answer is that you will heal, but this requires time and for you to proactive about your healing. Acceptance is the first step toward dealing with this symptom.

When you find yourself becoming overly emotional, take a minute to evaluate where these random emotions could be coming from. Can you pinpoint an exact reason? Is it related to your experience? Or are you experiencing emotions for which you have no explanation? Is your emotional response appropriate or inappropriate to the situation? If that it the case, you are likely having a symptom of PTSD. Sometimes these symptoms don’t seem to make much sense to us, but it is how we deal with them that make all of the difference in the process of healing. 

  

There are some psychological techniques and tricks that help with having a wide and varied range of emotion as well as feeling numb and generally locked up inside. Ultimately, you need time to adjust and you need time to physiologically heal from trauma. If you want to learn more about how to handle the symptoms of PTSD, I have written a book entitled PTSD: What to do about it when you don’t know what to do about it. This writing will give you specific steps that you can take in managing the disorder and it’s debilitating symptoms. It was written for those who suffer from this disorder, those who are in a relationship with someone who has this disorder, and those who need information and a solid plan of how to deal with the symptoms of PTSD.

Could Playing Tetris Become A New Treatment For PTSD?

I was reading an interesting study from Oxford University the other day that reported that people who have PTSD and play Tetris have fewer flashbacks. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and this makes perfect sense to me. I think these guys are on to something.

The study involved 20 people who did not have PTSD. They were shown a violent movie and then divided into three groups. One group did nothing, one group played Tetris, and one group played a trivia game. The results were quite amazing. The group that did nothing experienced an average of 12 involuntary flashbacks. The group that played the trivia game experienced an average of 6 flashbacks. The group that played Tetris experienced an average of 4 flashbacks. Imagine having PTSD and being able to overcome or lessen your flashbacks by playing Tetris.

This makes solid sense to me as one of the recognized and highly effective treatments for post traumatic Stress Disorder is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or (EMDR). EMDR is an information processing therapy that involves proper clinical evaluation and training of coping skills. You should never try to do EMDR alone or with someone other that a therapist. It’s very harmful to do that to yourself.

The similarity is that memories or thoughts are processed as the therapist directs the patient’s eyes to move back and forth. Rapid eye movement combined with other physical stimuli and the awareness of memory and sensation are the keys to getting the brain to categorize fragmented memories and sensations. As I said, do not do this by yourself.

 People who have PTSD typically have intrusive thoughts and fragmented memories surface when engaging in repetitive tasks. The researchers at Oxford report that playing Tetris, planning how the blocks will fall and watching them fall into an organized pattern may be just as beneficial as doing EMDR therapy.

If you are in therapy, why not talk to your therapist about this theory and see if he or she thinks that there is sound logic behind this? I know that I intend to talk to mine about it.

Is it possible that a very effective Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Treatment can be found in the form of a Nintendo game? It is starting to look that way. The research and theory is certainly solid enough. If playing Tetris will lessen a PTSD symptom like experiencing involuntary flashbacks, I think the guys at Oxford have hit a home run. 

How To Help Someone Through A PTSD Trigger

People who have Posttraumatic Stress Disorder have triggers that can lead to panic attacks and to negative symptoms arising. A trigger is a very real occurrence that can throw someone out of balance and cause more anxiety and stress. If you are with someone who has PTSD and they are triggered, how can you help them to process the experience and lessen the symptoms that are sure to follow?

A trigger is a personal reaction to some kind of stimuli that reminds them of their trauma. A trigger can be a sight, a smell, a sound, or even a thought. Because people who suffer from PTSD have an abundance of fragmented memories, a trigger ultimately is a reminder of an element of trauma that may have been forgotten. It can be a reminder of any aspect of the trauma, so it is almost impossible to predict when and where they will happen. For example, an assault victim might have triggers that relate to the size, shape, race, or other physical traits of the assailants. These are common triggers. Then there are triggers that are specific to that person’s experience, such as a certain song that may have been playing in the background, or a certain smell of soap or cologne. Triggers, whether they are common or personal, lead to panic and to other symptoms like flash backs, dissociation, or rage and a wide range of emotions.

If you are with someone who has a trigger, there are some things that you can do to greatly reduce their stress. One of the most effective things that you can do is to remove them from wherever they are. If you are inside, go outside. If you are driving, pull over and go to a restaurant, a park, or go sit outside with a frappuccino.  Changing your location helps to put them in a different frame of mind by engaging them in something else. This is very grounding.

Ask them if they want to talk about it. They may or may not want to do into too much detail and might be very emotional. They might be shocked and need some time to process the trigger, so may not want to talk about what they have just experienced. Either way, let them know that you are there and that they are safe. The event is over, even if it feels to them like it just happened.

Be flexible. A trigger can bring up very negative symptoms and the person that you are with might need to be alone for a while. Don’t insist that they do things that they aren’t capable of at that time. If you are shopping together, it’s probably time to go get lunch or go home. If you’re at home, it might be time to go for a walk or make a short trip to the corner store for something.

Finally, if plans have to be altered quickly, be prepared for the guilt. It makes us feel incredibly guilty when something like this happens and you may find the person that you are with apologizing all over you in short order. The worst thing that you can do is to say things like, “… and I was looking forward to this, too.” That’s just cruel. Instead, find the flexibility and the grace to accept that these things happen. Be supportive and above all, be genuine.

Dealing with a boyfriend or a girlfriend who has PTSD can be challenging and confusing at times. You have to use a lot of critical thinking, common sense, and flexibility. At times, it is hard to know what will be the most helpful and what will set the person off. Ultimately, education is the key to dealing with PTSD. You have to get into his or her mindset, in order to relate and communicate effectively. Once you know what to expect, it is not too difficult to personalize a solid plan that is specific to your relationship and to the person that you love. For more information, check out my book PTSD: What To Do About It When You Don’t Know What To Do About It. There is an entire chapter dedicated to Triggers and how to handle them. 

PTSD and Combat PTSD. Is There A Difference?

Post traumatic stress disorder affects everyone differently. The disorder has common symptoms that include intrusive thoughts, nightmares, dissociation, hyper vigilance, hyper arousal, flashbacks, and hallucinations. This is a stress disorder, so those who experience PTSD also experience an abundance of anxiety, depression, and stress. PTSD is PTSD whether it is acquired though child abuse, experiencing a disaster, or through combat.

That being said, combat vets go through psychological training in order to effectively deal with being in a war zone. They are trained to be hyper aroused and to be hyper vigilant. In a combat zone, if they expect to stay alive, these mental states have to be in place 24 hours a day. Survival depends upon a soldier using hyper vigilance in order to decipher danger and respond instantaneously.

When you combine a hyper aroused state of mind with a traumatic experience, such as a skirmish in which people die or are disfigured, this experience becomes ingrained in the psyche, causing PTSD. When a soldier is on high alert, experiences that surge of adrenaline, and is in a situation in which their lives are on the line, that is a clear set up to acquire PTSD.

So, is there a difference between what some consider to be “ Regular” PTSD and “Combat” PTSD? The answer is yes. And no. Combat PTSD differs in that a vet is trained to have the response that those who have acquired PTSD through other means obtain through their experience. An assault victim becomes hyper vigilant due to the assault. A child abuse victim gradually adapts a state of hyper arousal due to prolonged encounter. A soldier hits the battlefield with that pre programmed hyper vigilant state of mind.

Ultimately, PTSD has common symptoms and typical human reactions regardless of how it was acquired. PTSD is PTSD and there is no cure for this disorder. The degree to which any human reacts is specific to their experience. Some may have a higher degree of hyper arousal and some may have a higher degree of another symptom such as dissociation.

I have PTSD and have not been in a combat zone. Not many civilians who have PTSD have experienced terror on the prolonged basis that I have. Therefore, my startle response was on the same level as a soldier’s response at one time. The intensity and feelings are the same. The way in which PTSD was acquired was different. Ultimately, it’s all the same.

How PTSD Can Change Your Personality And Perspective

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can take over every aspect of your life. In addition to the damage that it does to your relationships and at times, your career, PTSD can rob you of your happiness, sense of humor, and creativity. It can steal your zest for life.

Many people who suffer this disorder report that they no longer recognize themselves. They see their reflection in the mirror and of course, they recognize their reflection, but who they are and what they see are two different images.  Some people lose their ability to laugh and make jokes. It is as if their sense of humor has completely died and they are rarely able to deliver a single humorous line. Other people lose the ability to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes. Complex problem solving and complex tasks can be more difficult for someone who has PTSD. Some are so severely affected by fear and disorientation that a simple trip to the grocery store is too much for them to handle, especially alone. They start to hyperventilate and then go into panic mode in the cereal aisle. Some can become so overwhelmed that they have to leave the store.

Some people become angry and that anger is with them 24 hours a day. They feel full of rage and out of control at times- not knowing what will set them off next, but knowing that they can’t always control their reactions. Some people cry and cry until they pass out or exhaust themselves into staring at the wall. Either way, some cry until they are emotionally drained on a daily basis. These are all extreme reactions to the symptoms of this disorder, but they are also very common reactions. Most people who have PTSD have experienced most or all of these symptoms on some level.

PTSD will change every aspect of your personality. Suffering from posttraumatic stress doesn’t mean that something scary happened and now the person merely feels jittery and unsure. Biologically, the brain is working very hard to process experiences that it can barely comprehend; let alone categorize. Because of the severity of that event, the brain is physiologically altered. Some areas of the brain that are responsible for memory and emotion become severely damaged. Complex neurological pathways are distorted. The body either repairs them or forms new pathways and this can lead to changes in temperament, personality traits, preferences, and perspectives. 

 This is why nearly everyone who has PTSD and their friends and families say that they are no longer the same person. They are correct. They don’t feel the same. They don’t think the same. They are not the same person and may never be that person again. They have to rediscover who they are, which can be a long process.

Healing from PTSD does not mean that you return to your former mental self unchanged and unscathed. A big part of healing means that you discover and develop new traits, talents, interests, and perspectives. This can be very tough to accept without having gone through a proper grieving process first. Once you accept that your personality and the way that you relate to the world are now coming from a different perspective, your brain will initiate the rest of the healing process.

If you take a positive view of this concept, you may find that you enjoy getting to know yourself again. It is a progression that takes time, observation, and patience. Think of it as a mental journey to rediscover who you are and how you roll. Along the way, you could find that your sense of humor has merely been hiding and your creativity and zest for life are not all that far away.

Surviving Trauma - Denial Is Futile.

When you’ve been through a traumatic experience, the psychological effects can become immediately evident or they can be delayed for a period of time. As a survivor of trauma, it is important to keep a few things in mind. There are specific stages of trauma just as there are specific stages of grieving and other healing processes. Whichever stage you are in depends upon how well you are using coping skills and are effectively healing from your experience.

Some survivors continue living and acting as if nothing has happened to them only to find that one day, it all comes crashing down on their heads, so to speak. Some immediately begin a grieving process and are able to deal with their trauma in a healthy manner. Some trauma survivors have a delayed onset of symptoms because the trauma was so severe that the brain has to find ways to process the event. This type of trauma is extreme and likely leads to PTSD or C-PTSD.

Trauma psychologically changes a person, but it physiologically changes a person, too. The body tends to overproduce stress hormones. Adrenaline production rises to roughly twice normal levels and neurotransmitters such as serotonin may not be high enough to combat the adrenaline. Sometimes people develop rapid heart rates, high blood pressure, and diabetes. Some notice that they hyperventilate more, which can lead to panic attacks. The brain produces nightmares in an effort to process distressful memories. It is very common to experience intrusive memories and have flashbacks. External sources can trigger negative memories and feelings that are related to the trauma. These are psychological events that occur without our permission and at times, without warning.

Denial of a traumatic experience is a common and rational way to react, but it leads to more psychological problems down the road. When in denial, a person’s will and body are at odds about the experience. If you go through a traumatic experience and are in denial, you should know that the body will do what it has to do to protect itself. The body usually wins. For example, dissociation, a common PTDS symptom is produced when the nervous system is overwhelmed. This is the body’s way of conserving energy and calming the body out of a negative mental state.

Denying the severity of how a traumatic event has affected you does not change the facts and inhibits a healthy healing process. Although it is difficult to deal with psychological changes, the degree of denial that you may experience directly relates to the degree of coping skills that you have learned in order to deal with these changes. And, as we all know, acknowledging the problem is the first step toward positive change.  

PTSD: Why can’t I get it together?

Many people who have post traumatic stress disorder ask themselves, “ What’s wrong with me?” “Why can’t I get it together?” “Where did I go?”  “What’s happening to me?” This is perfectly normal and you are not alone. PTSD is a debilitating disorder that will take your mind for a whirlwind ride. Dissociation, a major factor in PTSD, can include confusion and fragmented thinking. It can include physical feelings of floating, of feeling like your head is larger than it is, or of feeling shorter or taller than you are. I know that this sounds very strange. Dissociation is very strange. When PTSD sufferers experience dissociation, they feel disconnected from others and sometimes from themselves. They withdraw from society and from others. They withdraw into themselves and can experience time lapses.

 I have PTSD, so I know what a frightening feeling it is when you tend to space out frequently and relive trauma, even though you don’t want to. It is frightening when you realize that you have little to no emotion about the things that you used to care very deeply about. It’s also frightening when you feel emotionally numb and no longer have that spark for life. These are all parts of dissociation.

Post traumatic stress disorder damages the limbic system, which is our emotional system. When humans experience trauma that is so great that they believe that they will not survive, it does damage to many parts of the brain. The nervous, or limbic system reacts as if it is in a state of shock and tends to shut down somewhat. This is why we dissociate and cannot feel emotions as we did before. Also, when the limbic system is overloaded by stress, it causes us to dissociate in order to conserve energy or to relax.

Dissociation is a sign of having too much stress. Since PTSD is a stress disorder, this is a revolving cycle. While there is no cure for PTSD, there are ways to manage stress and ultimately dissociation, but this takes time. If you experienced trauma recently, dissociation will occur frequently until your brain has had time to adjust to the shock of that event. When your memories are triggered, you may dissociate as a way of dealing with that uncovered memory. Even though this symptom can be overwhelming, it is the body’s natural way of protecting itself and psychologically dealing with tremendous strain. To become upset about dissociation is counterproductive. This will produce more stress and that will trigger panic and more dissociation. 

There are some psychological techniques and tricks that help with dissociation as well as relaxation techniques. Ultimately, you need time to adjust and you need time to physiologically heal from trauma. If you want to learn more about how to handle the symptoms of PTSD, I have written a book entitled PTSD: What to do about it when you don’t know what to do about it. This writing will give you specific steps that you can take in managing the disorder and it’s debilitating symptoms. It was written for those who suffer from this disorder, those who are in a relationship with someone who has this disorder, and those who need information and a solid plan of how to deal with the symptoms of PTSD.